Mr and Mrs Hallmark
by thebigwolf
Summary: Max and Fang thought that they were out of each other's lives for good, but they never expected their best friend's to fall in love with each other. Max finds it impossible to like Fang, and vice versa. However, a case of mistaken identity forces the pair to have a wild night out on the town, discovering dirty cops, ex lovers, and Fang's weird food cravings.
1. Chapter 1

All characters belong to James Patterson! [and I am not James Patterson, just in case there is any confusion about that].

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Nicolas 'Fang' Steel had been the bane of my very existence since eighth grade.

No, don't worry. This isn't one of those hot, romance stories where we start out hating each other, and then realize that we are just secretly and madly in love with one another and we ride off into the sunset on a camel or something. _No_ – this is not one of _those _stories, because I disliked Fang with every bone in my body.

Like I said, it all started in eighth grade. Fang and I had English together and the teacher had called on Fang to answer a question, which he answered incorrectly. All _I _did was correct him in the middle of class. I wasn't aware that boys didn't like to be corrected by girls. The class had snickered, but it didn't seem like a big deal. I had gone about the rest of my day, forgetting about the incident. It was at lunch, three days later, that I realized Fang had _not_ forgotten about the incident at all.

You see, there are few things I trust, and cafeteria food is not one of them. Throughout junior and high school, I had brought my lunch nearly every day. Fang had noticed this and he and a group of his minions filled my lunch box with crickets. I love animals, but there is just something unholy and unnatural about crickets. So when I opened my lunch to have a cricket jump square on my nose, I thought for sure I had died and gone to Hell, and that this was going to be my punishment for eternity. Once I realized that I was alive, however, I heard Fang and his pack laughing like hyenas. Fang smugly asked me how my lunch was and I promptly punched him in his jaw, earning myself a suspension that lasted a week. But it was worth it.

We had more run ins throughout high school, but once I graduated I had been relieved that I would never have to see his face again. I didn't intend on my best friend Nudge, falling in love with Fang's best friend, Iggy.

It was after I had finished vet school. Nudge had called me to see if I remembered Iggy Williams, the smart, science minded guy that we went to high school with. I remembered Iggy, and I also remembered who his best friend was since ninth grade - Fang. Nudge announced that her date with Iggy had gone perfectly. That perfect first date made Fang a permanent fixture in my life, because Nudge had fallen head over heels for Iggy. And when she and Iggy wanted to plan some sort of group day event, Iggy always invited Fang. Naturally, Nudge invited me and if I wanted to see my best friend, I had bear Fang's prescence.

So I decided that I would try to be civil with Fang. At least until Nudge and Iggy broke up. When Nudge and Iggy threw a party or wanted to go out, I had to pretend like I didn't want to claw Fang's eyes out. We would camouflage our insults towards each other as compliments, like, "Oh, Fang. You haven't changed a _bit_." But it was said in such a sweet tone that Nudge couldn't fuss at me for being mean. Fang would smile back and say, "I could say the same about you, Max. You still look just like you did in junior high." Junior high was when I had braces – which, for the record, I do not find unattractive; I'm not sure why people always associate braces with being an unattractive quality – and I had my curly, frizzy hair. I certainly had not grown into my body in junior high either. Fang knew this and I could tell by his smug smile what he was thinking.

When Nudge and Iggy weren't paying attention to us, I could finally relax and give him a glare. Fang would scowl at me, muttering,

"They finally let you out of the zoo?"

And I would say, "Yep. Turns out there are weirder and uglier things they'd rather have." I gave him a pointed look.

But as soon as our best friends turned back around, it was back to being nice.

That's how it was for two and a half years. And that's how it is now. As I struggled to find where I put my shoes, I tried not to dread the dinner I was about to have. Nudge had called me to remind me that she and Iggy had something important to tell me and Fang. When I asked why Fang had to come, Nudge's voice was not patient.

"Because he is Iggy's best friend. They're practically like brothers, Max. You know that."

"Yeah, yeah," I muttered, "So tell Iggy to tell Fang the big news through a smoke signal or something." I let out a small cry of victory as I found my shoes stuck under my bed. I pulled them out, one hand pressing my cell phone to my face and the other pulling on the heels.

"Max," Nudge's voice had taken on a deadly calm, "Please. You and Fang have been getting along great together lately. I was starting to think that maybe you two-"I cut her off.

"Oh, please for the love of all that is holy, do not finish that sentence," I begged her, "Please, please, please. Or I will have to hurt you, Nudge. I will."

She sighed. "Alright, fine." I heard Iggy's voice in the background. "Oh! Time to go. I'll see you at the restaurant." She hung up before I could say anything else.

The restaurant was classy, so I had been instructed to wear something nice. A black dress and heels was as nice looking as I was going to get though. I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail, thinking that I could always turn and slap Fang with it and claim it was an accident.

I grabbed my keys and locked my apartment door behind me. I was trying not to be nervous about what Nudge's big news was. Maybe the two wanted to announce that they were breaking up? I was conflicted about that option. It would mean no more Fang, but Nudge seemed to be crazy about Iggy. And as much as I disliked Fang, I didn't mind Iggy. He was a cool guy, who was always up for blowing something up. It's hard for me to dislike a pyromaniac.

As I drove, I prepared myself. Fang and I had been getting along in front of Nudge and Iggy, but Nudge was out of her mind if she thought Fang and I actually _liked_ each other. I pretended not to hate Fang purely for Nudge's sake, and Fang pretended not to hate me for Iggy. I guess that's just what best friends do; restrain their selves from strangling their best friend's boyfriend's best friend.

That sounded confusing.

I pulled up into the restaurant, next to Iggy's car. Sighing, I made my way down the side walk, trying not to bump into anyone. It was a busy Saturday night and the restaurant was crammed full. I glanced around, searching for my familiar faces. I saw Fang first, standing next to an aquarium display. He was watching the fish swim around their tank, his eyes following their motions. Nudge was standing behind Fang, Iggy's arm wrapped securely around her shoulders.

"I'm not late," I announced, walking up towards the trio. Iggy said dryly,

"Dear God. No wonder it's cold. Hell is freezing over."

"Ha, ha," I said just as dryly. Fang glanced at me, his upper lip curling slightly, but after a glance at Iggy he forced a smile.

"Hi, Max. You look nice." His eyes went over my dress. "I know people wear black because it's one of those colors that make you look thin, right?"

I narrowed my gaze, knowing that his words meant something else entirely. "Yep." I eyed his red button up shirt. "Too bad red isn't."

"I'll go check in with the hostess and let her know we're here," Iggy said, turning away. Nudge's eyes followed Iggy and she looked like she was in an entirely different world. The look on her face made me realize that they were not announcing a break up. Not with the loving looks they kept throwing at each other.

I was both disappointed and relieved by that.

I took advantage of Nudge being distracted and moved closer to Fang, who was back to staring at the aquarium. I could see our reflections in the clear glass of the display.

"You probably shouldn't be looking in the glass," I told Fang, "You don't want seven years of bad luck, do you?"

He slid his eyes over to me. "I'd take seven years of bad luck over one day of your company." He leaned closer. "Seriously, I don't understand how you are a vet. Surely your patients don't let you touch them."

I opened my mouth to say something, but Iggy had returned, his face flushed with anger. Shaking his head, he told us, "They gave our table away. Apparently the reservation was at seven forty five, not eight. I must have gotton the times mixed up with something else. I'm sorry, Nudge." He ran a hand over his face, "They already gave our table away."

Nudge let out a curse, shaking her head. "Seriously? That is not-" she was cut off as a large guy bumped into her, causing her to stumble forward. The man didn't even glance behind him or apologize, instead he was scanning the resturant. He looked like some sort of security guard. Iggy turned to confront the man, but Nudge grabbed his arm, shaking her head.

"Just let it go, please," she frowned, "This night is turning into a disaster now."

"Hallmark!" I head a waiter calling, "Party for two, Hallmark! This is your last call!" I watched as the waiter scanned the waiting area of the resturant. One look at Nudge's disapointed face and I knew what to do. Smiling, I ran up to the waiter.

"Hi, I'm Mrs. Hallmark. But you must have gotton our reservation wrong. We are a party of four, not two."

The waiter looked at the schedule book he had in his arms. He was frowning. "It says party for two." He squinted his eyes at me.

"My...husband messes up a lot," I explained. I pointed a finger towards Fang. "That's him, watching the fish. He's a little...," I gave the sign for crazy. "He messes pretty much everything up. He may have told you two. Is that a problem?" I opened my wallet, letting the waiter glance at the money inside. Luckily, I had just gotton paid yesterday and hadn't spent my pay check yet. The waiter smiled, looking up.

"I'm sure I can drag two chairs to your table," he smiled. "If you and the rest of your party will follow me."

Grinning, I turned and gave a thumbs up to Nudge, Iggy and Fang, gesturing for them to follow me. Nudge, looking relieved, Iggy, looking impressed, and Fang, looking like he would burn my house down and roast marshmellows on it, followed me as I trailed behind the waiter.

"Table forty three," the waiter said, placing down menus. Then he pulled two extra chairs from another table, sitting them at our table. Iggy and Nudge sat down beside each other, leaving me next to Fang. I sat as far away from him as I could.

"How did you get him to give us a table?" Iggy asked, as soon as the waiter had left with our drink orders. I gave an innocent shrug.

"The Hallmark's weren't showing up. So I didn't think it would hurt to just take their reservation."

Nudge's mouth dropped. "You stole - this is a stolen reservation!" She glanced around, as if she expected the police to barge in and put her in handcuffs. "Max!"

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, come on. The Hallmark couple was a no show. And now we can eat here and you guys can tell us the big news."

"Yeah, what is the big news?" Fang asked, straightining up. Fang's question seemed to make Nudge forget that this wasn't our rightful table, because she beamed, glancing at Iggy before saying,

"Nope. Let's order first."

Fang and I exchanged a glance, only this one wasn't full of glares and daggers. We were both openly confused about what was going on. Hastily, I turned away and focused on my menu. Five minutes later, the waiter returned with our drinks. Pulling out a notepad, he took down our orders. When he turned away, I focused on the couple sitting in front of me.

"Alright. Spill. What the heck is going on with you two?"

Nudge and Iggy exchanged a look, grinning. Then they turned to face us.

"We're getting _married_," they said in unison, both with huge smiles on their faces.

"_What!_" Fang and I said simultaneously. We both stared at each other in horror, then back at the couple in front of us. For Nudge and Iggy, their marriage meant a lifelong commitment of happiness and eternal love. For Fang and me, however, it meant a lifetime of having to deal with _each other_. The couple took our yelling for excitement, rather than for the horror it was. Nudge beamed.

"And that's why we invited you two here," she explained, "Max, you're like a sister to me. It's only right that you're my maid of honor."

"And Fang," Iggy grinned, "I want you to be my best man."

Silence.

Fang and I didn't say anything for a moment. All I could think about was how I was going to have to dance with Fang at Nudge's wedding. It was customary that the maid of honor dance with the best man. An involuntary shiver ran down my spine at the thought of having to _touch _Fang. I couldn't handle the mere thought.

"I am _not _dancing with him at any wedding," I snapped right when Fang said,

"Nudge, you're going to have to get a new best friend for this to work."

"_Excuse _me?" I turned on Fang, "If anybody needs a new best friend, it's Iggy. How he settled for you as a best man is beyond me."

Fang twisted in his chair to glare at me. "Most things probably are beyond you, Max. That comes with the territory of having the IQ of a peanut."

"You probably can't even spell peanut," I rolled my eyes, looking at Nudge. "Are you sure you want to marry Iggy knowing you'll have to deal with this guy?" I jabbed a finger towards Fang.

"Max-," Nudge's eyes were narrowed, her fingers trembling. But before she could speak, Fang addressed Iggy.

"Dude, are you sure you want to marry Nudge? Knowing you'll have this creature as a monster-in-law?" He jabbed a finger at me.

"I don't know, Fang. Based on all the girls you have dated, I'd say you have a thing for creatures," I raised an eyebrow at Fang, my jaw clenched.

"Even I have my standards," Fang raked his eyes over me, scowling. Then he looked back at Nudge, "I'm serious. I like you Nudge, and Iggy you're my best friend. But I can't stand having to be around Max for the rest of my life. Something's gotta give."

"That is enough!" Nudge stood up abruptly, her eyes wet. I looked up at her, feeling as if a tornado was about to whip through this restaurant. Iggy threw his napkin down on the table, standing up as well.

"Here's the thing," Iggy said, his pale face flushed. "You two are supposed to be our best friends. We told you guys the news of our engagement first because we thought you'd be _happy _for us. But apparently you two cannot grow up and get over something that happened in damn _junior high_!" Iggy ran a hand over his face, shaking his head. "This engagement is big news for me and Nudge. But if this is the kind of reaction you're going to give, Fang, then don't worry. You won't have to dance with Max, because I'll find another best man."

"I couldn't have said it better myself," Nudge said, taking Iggy's hand. Her dark eyes focused on me. "I can't believe you would let your feelings towards Fang overshadow what is supposed to be one of the happiest events of my life. Consider yourself fired from the position of maid of honor. I'm sure I can find somebody else."

Eyes were trained on our table, the restaurant conversation dying. My face was flushed and I watched as Nudge and Iggy left, leaving Fang and I at the table.

Fang and I sat quietly for a few moments, both needing time to process what had just happened. Nudge and Iggy were getting _married. _How could I not have seen that coming? I knew they were in love, but why was their sudden engagement such a shock to me?

I turned my head to see Fang staring at me. He shook his head, his lips pressed in a thin line.

"Way to go, Max," he growled. I reached for my water, deciding that I would splash it all over his face before storming out in a dramatic exit. But just as my hand curled around it, our waiter appeared timidly.

"Everything alright here?" he asked softly, looking at us with wide eyes. Fang waved a hand at him.

"Could you please bring us the check?" The waiter nodded and hurried away. We had already placed an order for our food, but I wasn't in any mood to eat now. I pulled out my wallet, deciding that I would pay for everything, minus Fang's order.

"Oh, please," Fang rolled his eyes, "Put your wallet away." He pulled out a few twenties, laying them on the table.

"I'm not letting you pay for mine," I said, pulling out my own money. Fang looked up at the ceiling in exasperation.

"Dear God, does _everything_ have to be an argument with you?"

"As a matter of fact," I began to say, but suddenly a tall man came up next to our table. I looked up – and I mean I really looked up, because this guy was huge – and met his dark gaze. Fang, seeing my stare, followed my gaze and looked up at the guy.

"Are you the Hallmark's?" the man asked, glancing between Fang and I. I almost said no, but then I realized that Fang and I were supposed to be the Hallmark's right now. Fang glanced at me, one eye brow raised.

"Yep, that is us. We are the Hallmark's. And this is our table. That we made a reservation for. And didn't steal," I answered, smiling sweetly. Neither of the two men smiled back, but they glanced at each other as if confirming something.

"We need you two to come with us," the taller man said, his voice rough. He had brown hair and eyes, with an almost child like roundness to his face. But he made up with the child like look with his impressive height.

"I'm sorry," Fang said, "But who are you?"

The man didn't answer. Instead, another man came up. He had blond hair and was shorter, but his stare was hard. "It doesn't matter who we are. We need you to come with us."

I groaned inwardly. Obviously they were here to escort us out after the big scene we had made. I looked around for the waiter.

"Can we wait for the waiter to come back with the check?" I asked. The shorter man shook his head.

"No, you can't." He reached forward and actually grabbed Fang's upper arm, tugging him up. "Come on. Let's go."

"Hey!" Fang pulled his arm away, "I'm capable of walking by myself." Fang glanced over at me and I stood up, leaving my money on the table even though Fang had clearly left enough. I guess our waiter was going to get a big tip.

The taller man brought up the rear while the shorter one led us through the restaurant. It felt like the walk of shame, because I could feel dozens of eyes on me. I kept my gaze on Fang's back, following the shorter man until we reached a set of heavy metal doors. The shorter man held the door open while Fang and I piled out. The taller man shut the door firmly behind him.

I turned around to apologize, but suddenly I was face to face with a gun. I yelped, instinctively moving back. To my surprise, Fang moved forward, blocking his body with mine. He held up his hands, palms forward.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Fang said, "Take it easy, man. We're sorry we caused a scene. There's no need for a gun. We'll leave."

The taller man, the one who had the gun aimed right at Fang's chest, cocked his head to the side. "Caused a scene? We didn't bring you out here because you caused a scene in the restaurant."

I narrowed my gaze. "What – so you aren't the restaurant security guards?"

The shorter man pushed forward. "Rest-restaurant _security guards_?" He looked at the taller man, who shook his head. The taller man angled his gun to the side and said,

"Are you trying to _insult_ us?" he demanded. Fang groaned, looking over his shoulder at me.

"Oh, great. You made him bring out the kill shot, Max."

"Put the gun down Ari," the shorter, blond man sighed, "Maybe these two will listen to some reasoning."

The taller man – Ari – lowered his gun, but still kept his finger on the trigger. "Go ahead, Sam. Explain the situation."

The blond – Sam – moved forward. "Look, it's already been a long day. I'd like to get home to the family before nine. So why don't you just hand over the flash drive and we can call it even?"

Flash drive? What was this guy talking about? I looked at Fang, but he looked just as confused as I did. He shot me a curious look.

"What the hell kind of flash drive do you have?" he hissed. My eyes widened.

"I don't have a flash drive," I said, "Do you?"

Fang shook his head, then looked back at Ari and Sam. "Guys, I think you've got the wrong people. Neither of us-"

Ari raised his gun again. "Don't try to lie. We know you made reservations for this restaurant at eight. Table forty three, which is where you were. And you already admitted that you are Angel and Adam Hallmark. So we want the flash drive or I'm going to shoot you."

I pushed forward, holding up my hands like Fang did. "Listen, that wasn't our original table. They gave away the table we made reservations for, so I lied in order to get that table. My last name isn't Hallmark, and neither is his." I pointed at Fang. "This is all just a big misunderstanding. Here, check my ID."

Ari and Sam watched as I slowly reached into my bag, pulling out my wallet. I tossed it to them, watching as they looked over my license. Then Ari scoffed.

"This is one of the worst fake IDs I have ever seen," he said. He tossed my wallet to the side, letting it smack against the side of the builidng. My mouth fell open.

"Hey! That's Vera Bradley!" I started to go pick it up, but Ari stopped me. He pressed the barrel of the gun to my forehead. I felt the cool metal against my hot skin and my breath stopped in my throat. Fang was talking, but there was a dull roar in my ears. I realized that I was afraid, a feeling I wasn't really used to. But it's hard to not be afraid when there is a bullet itching to introduce itself to your skull.

"I don't like liars," Sam said, "Maybe I should let Ari shoot you both right here." He glanced around. "We can throw your bodies in the van before anyone comes to investigate. Then we'll dump you both in the nearest river."

"People saw you leave with us," Fang said, "There is a restaurant full of witnesses."

Sam shrugged. "The restaurant doesn't have a camera in there, so there is no footage of us ever leaving with you. Plus, who will take the word of a regular citizen over a cop?"

Cop? This guy was a _cop_? Everything suddenly seemed a lot worse and I had the terrible feeling that Fang and I had stumbled upon something bigger than we originally thought. Fang seemed to be thinking the same thing, because he glanced over at me.

There was a long pause. My mind was spinning, desperate to find some way out of this. Then, Fang said,

"Just – just get the gun off of her. We'll take you to the flash drive."


	2. Chapter 2

I planned on updating this way sooner, but there have been some super bad storms where I live and our power got knocked out for a few days...and it took even longer to get our Internet fixed and backed up. :(

Also, I forgot to mention in the first chapter...I got this idea from watching the movie 'Date Night'.

Thank you for your patience and your reviews!

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"Just – just get the gun off of her. We'll take you to the flash drive."

Even though Ari had a gun pointing right at me, my head still swiveled around to stare at Fang. "_We will?"_

Fang wasn't looking at me, though. He was focused on Ari and he raised his hands up, palms forward. "Just lower the gun. The three of us –" he looked from Ari to Sam – "Can go get the flash drive, alright?"

Sam seemed to mull it over, but he clicked his tongue in disapproval of the plan. "No, the _four_ of us will go get the flash drive. Ari, lower your gun."

Ari hesitated, but obeyed. I guess Sam was really the one in charge here. He reached forward and snatched my bag off my shoulder, digging through its contents. He pulled out my phone and without any preamble, slammed it on to the ground. My mouth dropped as Sam rose up his boots and stomped all over my Iphone, shattering it completely. And with it shattered any hopes of using it to call for help. Sam stretched out his hand for Fang's phone and repeated the process. Then he shoved my bag in Ari's chest, not offering to give it back to me. As serious as the situation was, I couldn't help but smirk a little as Ari put my bag over his shoulder.

"Not sure if purple is your color," I told him. He didn't look amused.

"Follow Sam," he snapped.

Sam was moving towards the parking lot and obediently, Fang and I turned to follow him. Ari brought up the rear and although I was terrified of what was going to happen, my anger towards Fang seemed to dwarf my fear. As Sam led us through the parking lot across from the restaurant, I tried to think of the most violent way to kill Fang for getting me into this situation. If we got out of this alive, I planned on Fang's death putting every episode of _1,000 Ways to Die _to shame. I would make his death so gruesome that it would inspire its own horror movie.

_Being pushed into a volcano._

_Getting fed bit by bit to a man eating shark._

_Having to watch forty eight straights hours of Toddlers and Tiaras and _then _getting fed bit by bit to a man eating shark._

Unable to control my anger or curiosity any longer, I glared up at Fang and hissed under my breath, "What the heck kind of flash drive do you have?"

"I don't-," he started to whisper back, his voice furious, but from behind us Ari snapped,

"Speak louder! I can't hear what you're saying."

I saw Fang roll his eyes and he glanced over his shoulder at Ari to say in a dry tone, "That's kind of the point of whispering."

Had anyone other than Fang said that, I would have at least grinned. But since it was Fang, I pretended that I found him as amusing as a paperclip. Ari grumbled something in return, but I was waiting for Fang to finish explaining to me what type of mess we were in. But he was staring straight at Sam's back, refusing to look at me. I gritted my teeth in frustration. If he wasn't going to talk or help, then I would have to find some other way to get out of this. I scanned the parking lot, hoping that somebody would walk by and I would some how be able to tell them, 'Hello, yes, I'm currently being kidnapped here. Please help.' But no – as a faded white van came into view, with pieces of rust decorating the bumper, nobody came to my aid. The van looked like a typical delivery van and certified creeper van, all in one.

"Alright, wise guy," Sam said, standing at the rear of the van. He had his arms crossed over his chest, his jacket raised up purposely so that his gun was visible. He waited until Ari slid open the back of the van before asking, "Where's the flash drive?'

I looked at Fang expectantly, but I was surprised at how _surprised _I was. This was Fang – I shouldn't think that it was beneath him to get involved with people as bad as these two guys. And yet, I did. At first, I had thought that Sam and Ari had simply mistaken us for somebody else, but Fang admitted to having this flash drive they were looking for. How did he get involved with this?

Ari pulled out his gun again. Fang and I jumped as he pointed it in our faces – but I was starting to get more than just a little bit annoyed with this guy and his eagerness to point his gun.

"Maybe this will help you remember," Ari growled, the barrel of the gun shifting from Fang to me.

"Howell Park!" Fang said quickly. "I hid it at Howell Park."

Ari and Sam exchanged a look, a crease forming in Ari's forehead. "You hid it at a park?" Ari asked, his tone expressing his doubt.

I mirrored their confusion. I was familiar with Howell Park; it had been founded thirty years ago in honor of Thomas Howell, a doctor who had passed away. Nudge and I often went there to kayak on the lake or I took the dogs from the vet clinic there so they could burn off some energy. It was a popular and busy place; not exactly the ideal spot for hiding something you didn't want found.

"Yep. Because who would think to look at a park?" Fang's voice was firm, but I thought I heard a catch in it.

"It better be there," Sam said, "Or your pretty little girlfriend is going to going to find out if there is an afterlife."

"Excuse you. I'm not his girlfriend." I snapped, "Do I look that desperate to you?" I waved a hand at Fang, whose lip was literally curling up in a snarl at me.

"Considering you dated Eugene, I'd say you're a pretty desperate person."

"_He was a nice guy!"_ I shrieked, more than fed up with people throwing up somebody I dated in ninth grade.

"Enough!" Ari grabbed Fang's shoulder, shoving him forward roughly. "Get in."

Fang hesitated, his shoulders tensing. But Ari shoved him forward again and Fang crawled into the back of the van, vanishing in the dark. I think Ari was going to shove me forward to, but I held up my hand, gesturing for him to back off. Then I climbed into the back of the van with as much dignity and grace as I could which, let me tell you, wasn't easy considering I was in a dress and heels. As soon as I was in, the door slammed shut, sealing Fang and I into darkness. I felt as if I were in a tomb.

Tentatively, I reached around to feel my surroundings. My hand brushed over another set of fingers that didn't belong to me and I pulled back hastily.

"Fang?" I heard the slam of two doors before I heard a response.

"No, it's Santa Claus," Fang's voice snapped answered, "Who'd you expect Cricket?"

I bristled at the nickname, once again reminded both of Fang's prank in eighth grade and of my fear of crickets. Fang had started calling me Cricket my sophomore year but it had been such a long time since he had used the nickname. I had unrealistically hoped that he'd forgotten about it.

"Well, I don't know," I spat, "I wouldn't be surprised if there was a dead body in here, considering how your two friends are acting."

"_My _friends?" Fang snapped, but the sound of the van rumbling to life momentarily drowned out his voice. As the vehicle lurched forward, I said,

"What the hell have you got us into, Nick?" I paused. "If that even is your real name!"

"Me? _You're _the one who told those two goons that we were the Hallmark couple. Not me. So what have you got us into, Max?" He gave a dramatic pause. "If that even is _your_ real name."

I strained my eyes to see in the darkness, but with no avail. I was worried that I was going to start going into a panic attack. Being in an enclosed, dark space against my will did nothing to help my claustrophobia and it only made matters worse that I was in this van with my arch nemesis. I struggled to steady my breathing as I spoke.

"You're the one with their flash drive. Need we go back to ten minutes ago, when you said, '_I'll take you to the flash drive,' _or whatever?"

I heard Fang groan and a small _thump, _like he had thrown his head back against the side of the van. "I have no idea who those guys are or where their flash drive is. I only told them that I would take them to it so he would get the gun off of you. That Ari guy has crazy eyes. I thought he was going to introduce your skull to a bullet."

I was quiet for a moment, trying to process what Fang had just said. "So, you don't have their flash drive?" I felt a sense of relief, but also complete disappointment. Fang didn't know anything more than I did.

"No." Fang's voice sounded strained. I hesitated a brief second, but I figured since he had gotton the gun lowered from my head, I could at least ask him,

"Are you okay?"

"I don't like being in an enclosed space that I can't get out of," Fang said matter of factly. I was quiet for another moment as I tried to process the fact that Fang and I had something in common. That fact in itself was more horrific than being kidnapped.

"So you don't know what they're talking about either?" Fang asked, his voice sounded a little bit more composed.

"Nope," I leaned back against the side. "Not a clue. All I know is that they're looking for a Mr. and Mrs. Hallmark."

"And you just had to tell them that it was us," Fang said bitterly.

"And you just had to tell them that you knew where their flash drive was."

I heard a shuffle and then Fang said, his voice closer, "I did that for you, Cricket. I thought that maybe if I told them where it was, I could find a way for us to escape into a crowd or something while they were looking for the flash drive."

I leaned forward, wishing I could see in the dark, "Then what on _earth_ possessed you to tell them you hid the flash drive at Howell Park? You couldn't pick some where public, where we could actually have a chance at getting away? Nobody's going to be at Howell Park this late, you moron!"

"I panicked!" Fang defended.

"'I panicked,'" I mimicked him sourly. Then in my own voice, I asked, "What do you plan to do once we get to Howell Park, when they realize the freaking flash drive isn't there? Charm them with your stunning personality so that they'll let us go?"

"Maybe I'll just make them stare into your eyes. And they'll probably turn to stone and I can get away."

"I'm not Medusa!"

"You sure? Because your hair always looks snake like. Matches your personality."

I fumbled around in the dark, searching for any part of Fang that I could hit. I managed to punch what I thought was his shin and he let out a curse. I could hear him shuffling around to try and find me and suddenly, two fingers pinched my arm. I yelped, but before I could retaliate the van came to a halt. I was relieved though, because I would be able to get out and get some fresh air. And hopefully be able to get a good swing at Fang for insulting my hair.

Ari had a gun leveled to our heads (no surprise) when Sam opened the doors. I slid out first, trying to keep my dress from riding up, and Fang crawled out from behind me. I glanced around. I could hear the water lapping up on the land and the moon was full, offering some natural light to the surroundings. It was unnaturally quiet and I decided Howell Park looked a lot less friendly at night time. But that could have something to do with the fact that there was a gun on me.

"Okay, where is it?" Sam demanded. Fang glanced around, his eyes stopping on the shed that was about ten feet away. It was where the kayaks that were available for rent were kept at. He turned back quickly to face Sam.

"It's in there."

Ari shoved his gun in between Fang's shoulder blades. "Lead the way, Mr. Hallmark."

Fang took the lead and I walked beside him, trying to sort out a plan. The door to the shed was locked and Fang and I stepped back to allow Ari to pick it. Sam was watching Ari, telling him to hurry. I took their moment of distraction to whisper to Fang,

"On my cue, pretend to have a disorder."

Fang looked down at me. "Why do I have to have the disorder?"

"Well…_look_ at you," I said, giving him a quick once over with my eyes. His mouth dropped, his expression offended.

"I've got a better idea," Fang grumbled. There was a small click and Ari gave a shout of victory.

Ari entered the shed first and Sam gestured for us to go in next. There were rows of kayaks lining both the right and left side of the shed, hanging up on flimsy plastic hooks. The floor was composed of small, individual wooden boards.

"Where is it?" Ari asked, pulling a flash light out of his pocket. He scanned the shed quickly, "Where did you hide it at?" I could hear the anticipation in his voice; the thrill he was feeling at finally closing in on where he thought the flash drive was. I could only hope Fang had a plan.

Fang raked a hand through his hair, looking around. I could practically see the wheels turning in his head as he struggled to come up with an answer. I was just about to pretend to have some sort of attack when Fang said,

"The floorboards! I hid it under the floor." He nodded, as if answering himself.

Ari waggled his flashlight at Fang, looking impressed. "That's pretty smart, man."

"Which floorboard?" Sam demanded, after glaring at Ari for giving his compliment. Sam's eyes went over each individual board that made up the floor to the shed.

I realized then what Fang was planning.

"We hid it under a floorboard that is directly under the kayaks," I answered. "But we can't remember which side it was on. Was it left or right?" I glanced at Fang, hoping that he would go along with me.

He shook his head. "I can't remember either."

Sam's jaw locked. "So basically, it could be under any of these floorboards?"

"No – just any of the floorboards that are under the kayaks," Fang gave him a rueful smile. "But it's in here."

Ari raised his gun, cocking it. The _click _it made caused my blood to run cold. "Thanks," he grinned.

Now that they thought they had the flash drive, they were going to kill us. I felt a brief moment of panic, realizing that I was about to die. That Fang was about to die. That we would both die with both of our best friends angry with us. We would never get to go to their wedding and I would never get to apologize to Nudge. This wasn't fair-

"No, you idiot," Sam snapped, shoving Ari's hand down. "Go out to the van and grab the shovels. We'll use them to bust through the wood."

Shovels? I looked up at Fang, who gave me a grim look. I could only think of one reason why Ari and Sam had shovels and it wasn't pleasant. I couldn't stop fidgeting as I waited for Ari to return and I kept glancing at Fang, who looked more calm and collected than he should have considering the circumstances.

"Okay, two shovels," Ari said, coming back into the shed. He tossed one to Sam, who immediately smashed it into one of the floor boards. The wood splintered, the hard metal of the shovel breaking through easily. Sam pulled the splintered pieces to the side, snatching the flash light from Ari to peer underneath the wood.

"Not here. I'll do the boards on the left. Ari, you do those on the right," he pointed to the ones closest to the door. "And I'll remind you two," Sam raised his gaze to address Fang and I, "That a bullet goes a lot faster than you can run. So if you try to run, I'll just shoot you in the back, regardless of whether or not we have the flash drive."

If they were going to kill us anyway, then I decided I would rather go down with a fight than just wait to be slaughtered. Ari slammed his own shovel in the floorboards, and then bent down to search underneath the wood. As if we could reach each other's mind, Fang and I both leapt to opposite sides; Fang to the right, and me to the left. We braced our palms against the first kayak in our rows and shoved hard. Just like dominos, the kayaks tumbled forward on top of one another, causing each of them to break off of their flimsy hooks. And just like we had planned, the kayaks collapsed both on and around Ari and Sam.

Fang and I didn't hesitate. I felt his fingers wrap around mine and he hauled me to the shed door, breaking into a run. We took off back to the van, skidding to a halt at the driver's door as we heard Ari and Sam screaming. Fang reached in, checking for the keys.

"Get in, get in, get in!" Fang told me quickly, shoving me into the driver's side. I climbed over the seat to the passenger side as Fang leapt in, turning the van on. Sam and Ari had made a big mistake by leaving the keys in the ignition, but I couldn't believe mine and Fang's good luck. Obviously Sam and Ari hadn't planned on anybody coming to the park this late to steal it – or on Fang and me escaping.

Gunshots erupted and my window shattered. I couldn't suppress a small shriek from escaping my lips as the bullet lodged into the dash. Fang pressed his foot on the gas and the van lurched forward.

"Put your head down!" Fang yelled at me over the gun shots. I wasn't exactly one for orders, much less if they came from Fang, but I found myself putting my head down and covering it as Fang sped out of the park. I kept hearing sharp _pings _as bullets hit the outside of the van, but Ari and Sam's shouts were growing quieter. Although I'm sure it had only been a matter of seconds, it felt like the entire ordeal of being shot at had lasted hours. But suddenly, there was silence. I rose up slowly.

"Are we alive?" I asked cautiously. I looked at Fang, my brow creasing when I realized he had the biggest grin on his face.

"Holy crap," he whooped, "We escaped! We got out! We're alive!"

"Viva la us!" I cried out, allowing myself to partake in Fang's victory cheers. He was right – we had escaped Ari and Sam. We had been able to come up with a plan to get us out of immediate danger and that was worth celebrating. Fang pulled out of the park and on to the main road, but it took at least two minutes before we stopped laughing. Then there was a long pause.

"Now what?" Fang asked, gunning it through a yellow light.

But I didn't answer. I realized there was a bag sitting at my feet and I reached over to pull it up into my lap, carefully knocking off the pieces of glass from my shattered window. It was a black duffel bag and I unzipped it slowly, hoping there wasn't a human head in it or anything. Flicking on one of the interior lights, the bag's contents were illuminated.

"Holy front door," I whispered, "They really are cops." I pulled out two badges, each with an ID attached to it, and both IDs fit Ari and Sam. I swallowed thickly.

Fang glanced over as I held the badges up. His expression darkened. "What the hell have we gotten ourselves into?"

I tried not to notice that he said _we_, instead of _you_, and I ignored the relief I felt that he wasn't totally pinning this on me."I have no clue. But if these guys are dirty cops, can we go to the police station? I mean, what if Ari and Sam show up there? Or what if there are more dirty cops?"

Fang was silent, and I assumed he was mulling over my questions. Braking for a red light, he looked over at me.

"There's only one way we can solve this," he said. I waited, expecting some sort of plan or idea. But no. Instead, Fang said,

"I need a McFlurry and a cheeseburger."


End file.
